When London Became An Island
Text of Thomas Homer's letter to Charles Monro admitting fraud.
3rd April 1815
After writing to you on Saturday in the manner I did, you will naturally think the more harshly of me, by my still absenting myself, but the fact is I durst not remain in England. The discoveries which could not fail being made this week of my misapplications would put me into such a dreadful situation that I could not venture to stop any longer, it being impossible for me to heal up the wounds; - but the circumstances mentioned in the Anonymous letter to you would render impossible that other matters should not transpire, as confidence in me must by that time be gone. I shall be found a great Defaulter. I have not time now to state the matters minutely, but the Defaulters on the calls are far from really correct - It is myself that am the great Defaulter therein by misapplications of monies sent to me to pay in and by contrivances to prevent my being detected, - I have most strongly to comment that I did not in the onsett 3 years ago, acquaint the Committee of my Embarrassments, when probably they would not have thought the worse of me to have been declared a Bancrupt, and then by my obtaining my Certificate I should have been free from Embarrassment, but at the time I was fearful it might prejudice me in respect of my appointment. Had I adopted that Plan then and succeeded in my appointment I should have been able to have appropriated a considerable sum annually towards payment of my creditors in a voluntary manner, but since I obtained my appointment I have been continually harassed by some of them, and in hopes of conquering difficulties and averting the evil day did what I ought not, I too well know it, and once having overstepped the Bounds in such hopes, and knowing that anyone suing and taking out Execution must expose what had occurred, I have gone deeper and deeper till I find it impossible to set things right - How I am to make peace with God and Man I know not - the dreadful state in which I have left my most innocent Wife and Family is distressing to the last degree - she and they are I may say with Truth and Justice, and I should do them all great Injustice if I did not say they are as much without Blemish as any upon the face of the Globe and they have known my misfortunes and Embarrassments with great concern, but certainly have never known the tenth Part or scarcely any part of my great misconducts - I hope they will not be looked upon a Jot the worse for my misdeeds - It is a dreadful visitation upon them more particularly to my wife who is advancing in years, after a life spent in good Housewifery, Industry and good Domestic Economy and Example to her children - I shall very shortly state matters as they are and am very sorry that everything should be in such confusion at this time upon my account.
I am Sir
Your very Obt. and hble Servt
P.S. The enclosed cheques being the only one’s I had left when you and Mr Delafield called on Thursday, I return.